Ode to the Jersey Diner

It started last night with a bottle of scotch
Quite a few beers, and Jäger shots
One or two Tequilas, con mi amigos
And topped it all off with a glass full of Old-Crow

Slurring my speech, and cut off from the bar
My friends and I headed out to the car
They asked me to drive, and I knew should not
And they felt the same, after I puked in the lot

I handed over my keys, and we went on our way
To where and for what, no one could say
“I have an idea,” I said with a stammer
They waited for my brilliance, they knew I was hammered

“Before my stomach started acting so rude,
I was about to suggest we acquire some food”
(I’m sure I sounded much less eloquent than this,
But the message got through, or at least the gist)

We made the first left, and then drove down to the right
A red neon sign, beckoned in the night
To me, no vision ever seemed finer
Than the flickering lights of my hometown diner

I stepped out of the car and fell to the floor
“Damn it Gravity, you win once more.”
I picked myself up, my pride almost gone
And walked in to order, it was now nearing dawn

The vinyl bench squeeked as we went to sit
It sounded like a fart, and we laughed because of it
All four of us ordered, “Taylor-Ham Egg and Cheese,
A side order of fries, and some onion rings please”

As we waited for food,  a thought had sprung up
I sighed and drank from the ice water cup
“ The girl at the bar, with the black hair and red bow,
I was with her all night, why did she go”

My friends, started laughing, one almost choking on ice
“we told her you had crabs, you know, like lice”
Why the hell would you do that! To me, your buddy?
“I really don’t know, we just thought it was funny.”

I let out a laugh, for it wasn’t a crime
And all of us knew I’d get him back next time.
A moment passed, and the food came to the table
I started to eat, my stomach now stable

Another Saturday night  passed, in our standard fashion
With a whole lotta booze,  but not much compassion
And the one place we come, who forgives this behavior
A true Jersey diner, my late night savior

By Dan Ferrara

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